Eyes and Mouth No Nose Funny
What do Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both spent a fortune making their noses more white.
A Priest and a Jamaican man are on a plane...
..and as they're taking off, the pilot says over the intercom "folks, I have something to tell you. I cannot fly the plane if someone passes gas; if someone does, I'll pass out and the plane will crash."
So halfway through the flight, the plane noses forward and goes into a dive. And the Jamaican stands up and screams "Who passed de gas?"
The priest says "how did you know?"
And the Jamaican answers "de scent!"
...I'll show myself out
Why don't midgets ever get accepted into nudist colonies?
They keep sticking their noses into everyone else's business.
Why do gorillas have big noses?
Because they have big fingers.
What do snotty vegetables do when they see something they don't like ?
They 'turnip' their noses.
Jacob's 5th birthday. He wants to be a doctor as his parents.
5th birthday of Jacob who wants to be a doctor as his parents.
His mom is a 'Ear Nose And Throat' doctor. His father is gynecologist. Guests approach Jacob with gifts asking if he want to be a 'Ear Nose And Throat' doctor as his mom or a gynecologist as his dad. Jacob thought about it a little then said: I want to be gynecologist. Why would you, they asked in astonishment. Cause I have no idea about ears and noses. Jacob replied.
Noses and Boyfriends
Boyfriends are like noses...
People get disgusted when you blow them in public.
Especially if you're caught without a tissue
What do you call someone with two noses?
No one nose.
I once dated a girl with two noses.
She wasn't much to look at but she smelled great.
The secret cocaine ring in my school still hasnt been busted by the police
It's slipping right under everyone's noses!
My boss fired an employee unexpectedly today and everyone wants to know why...
I think it's because he was caught with a bag of cocaine. But regardless, our boss told us to keep our noses out of it.
You can explore noses booger reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean noses nosed dad jokes. There are also noses puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I'm sick to death of cocaine dealers...
always sticking their business in other people's noses.
How many nice guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just compliment it for being a strong, independent bulb until a real man comes along and screws it under their noses.
Where do you hide cocaine in orphanage?
Right under the children's noses
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because oxygen is free.
Why do Dutch people have big noses?
Because air is free.
### Bonus joke:
* How was copper wire invented?
Two Dutchmen found a penny at the same time.
I have four eyes, three ears and two noses. What am I?
Ugly.
Why do Jewish people have big noses?
Air is free.
Why do Jews have large noses?
Because Air Is Free.
Jeffery Dahmer kept a journal, he wrote how he would take the noses of his victims and make pizzas with them.
Dahmersnose Pizza.
You have three eyes, two noses and two mouths. What are you?
ugly.
Why didn't the Eskimo rub noses with his non-Eskimo girlfriend?
She just wasn't Inuit.
I have three and a half legs, four arms but only two hands, two noses but only one nostril and one eye. What am I?
ugly
Is there a correlation between the size of a nose and the sense of smell?
Because I read somewhere that back in World War II people with big noses smelled gas much more often.
We call rings in ears earrings, in eyebrows eyebrow rings and in noses nose rings. Why don't we apply the same to fingers?
And with this fingering I give you my hand in marriage....
The police just found a pizza topped with human noses in a serial killer's fridge.
It was a Dahmer nose pizza.
One of my coworkers is always bragging about how much oral sex she gets.
She really likes to rub peoples' noses in it.
What do you call a creature with 6 legs, 3 eyes, 2 noses and no ears?
Anything you want, it can't hear you
I hate people who don't cover their noses and mouths when they sneeze.
They make me sick.
What do you call a deaf guy with three legs, two noses, four ears, and a unibrow?
It doesn't matter, he isn't gonna hear you.
Today I learned where plastic surgeons get new noses for their patients...
At the olfactory.
Did you hear about the cocaine dealer who retired?
He was tired of putting his business in other peoples' noses.
What do cannibals use to clean their noses?
Nose tissue.
I get why a lot of people don't properly wear masks over their noses
It's because they're mouth breathers
What do you call a man with one eye, two noses, and three ears?
Ugly
George Carlin once famously joked, "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
Thanks to all those people wearing masks but leaving their noses fully exposed, the stupider half is now a lot easier to spot.
People make fun of my nose sometimes,
But if God gave me my choice of all the noses on earth, I would pick my nose before I picked anyone else's.
Despite CDC guidelines, there's no reason to worry about people not covering their noses with their masks.
They're mouth-breathers anyway.
What do you call a man with multiple noses?
No one nose.
I have 4 legs 3 eyes and 4 noses what am i
ugly
What do dogs and nearsighted gynecologist have in common
They both have wet noses
Mustaches are taking over
And it's happening right under our noses
What do protestors and people with big noses have in common?
They both know how to picket.
I have 4 noses, 10 eyes, 20 legs, and 6 fingers, What am I?
Ugly
My friend tried to start a restaurant called Honkers. But he didn't get very good business.
Apparently, the idea of a restaurant where all the waitresses have big noses doesn't appeal to a lot of people.
Where do they manufacture noses?
At the olfactory
Source: https://jokojokes.com/noses-jokes.html
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